I know this feeling very well, it's a feeling I get when my Nan attend appointments with me, I hold back on so much info, that i'm just going round in circles.
I'll be glad to start psychology soon in October and I won't be letting her in for the therapy sessions because I just feel like he's gonna peel back so many layers and I don't want to worry her or feel like a burden, which I know I am sometimes.
The last time I went to an appointment with out her, I had phoned up that morning to book a same day appointment with my doctor, he was straight on the phone to the Crisis Team saying "can I refer a patient for hospital admission" so I'm hoping I don't have to do that again because all the crisis team did was ask my doctor if I was related to my sister (they did give her name but I'm not mentioning it here) and he said yes, but that shouldn't even be a question you ask someone who wanted to die the night before. I waited 4 hours, my family were wondering what was going on as I had mentioned to them that it was a medication review as the meds I was on was making me sick which again made sure that they weren't worrying about me because if I had told the truth, they definitely would have worried.
Anyway, hope you're all doing well.
Catherine x
Wednesday, 20 September 2017
Saturday, 16 September 2017
I don't know how much more I can take..
The past two days, I've been a crying mess. I'm back on medication and I don't know how I can be upset all the time.
I run my own business and have a team member in America, so I stay up until 6am to be available for her, she sent me such a upsetting message tonight and I literally broke down whilst questioning my life and wondering why I bother with the business or even my recovery. Now, I know what you're thinking, this blog is called "Recovery Is Possible" and I still believe it is, but there is some moments that pop up which we can't control and that's okay.
It's how we react to it, that counts.
I'm really looking forward to being with my Mum again at the beginning of next week as my youngest niece goes in to school in the afternoons then starts full days the week after.
My nieces and nephews are the ones keeping Mr going, they are my WHY, they are my diamonds, they are my absolute world!! I really hope my "blips" can be controlled. 2nd day into my medication, it doesn't look good.. But I'm hopeful despite the mess I currently look like.
Catherine x
I run my own business and have a team member in America, so I stay up until 6am to be available for her, she sent me such a upsetting message tonight and I literally broke down whilst questioning my life and wondering why I bother with the business or even my recovery. Now, I know what you're thinking, this blog is called "Recovery Is Possible" and I still believe it is, but there is some moments that pop up which we can't control and that's okay.
It's how we react to it, that counts.
I'm really looking forward to being with my Mum again at the beginning of next week as my youngest niece goes in to school in the afternoons then starts full days the week after.
My nieces and nephews are the ones keeping Mr going, they are my WHY, they are my diamonds, they are my absolute world!! I really hope my "blips" can be controlled. 2nd day into my medication, it doesn't look good.. But I'm hopeful despite the mess I currently look like.
Catherine x
Wednesday, 13 September 2017
Backwards in recovery TW
TW; Eating disorder, fainting and dehydration
I've had Ana in my head all day today telling me what great progress I'm making and how happy she is with me, and I don't see why!!
I have been suffering with Anorexia for nearly a year now and it's getting to the point where I'm now fainting and feeling very lightheaded, I've had my windows and curtains close all day yesterday and today because I fainted at the window when I looked out. I really wish I can just be "normal" (whatever that means) and live my life! I can't even concentrate on my business and that itself is concerning.
People tell me to "just eat" "just drink" and I know it might be easy to you but if I was standing next to you saying that you're Mum is going to die if you touch that fork and feed yourself, you wouldn't do it either.
Why does recovery have to be so hard :'(
I've had Ana in my head all day today telling me what great progress I'm making and how happy she is with me, and I don't see why!!
I have been suffering with Anorexia for nearly a year now and it's getting to the point where I'm now fainting and feeling very lightheaded, I've had my windows and curtains close all day yesterday and today because I fainted at the window when I looked out. I really wish I can just be "normal" (whatever that means) and live my life! I can't even concentrate on my business and that itself is concerning.
People tell me to "just eat" "just drink" and I know it might be easy to you but if I was standing next to you saying that you're Mum is going to die if you touch that fork and feed yourself, you wouldn't do it either.
Why does recovery have to be so hard :'(
Sunday, 3 September 2017
Just a quick one..
I've just realised I'm going out on Friday night but it's gonna be with my sister so I'm in safe hands. I booked her tickets for Wannabe Tribute Band in Kettering for her birthday so I'm excited to go with her!!
I also feel like I'm gonna be babysat so much by her which sometimes I don't mind but she has her own problems and also my brother in law will be there so I don't want to have to be a nuisance but they slam doors and everything there.. And I didn't handle it too well last time. I'm hoping I can stay all weekend but I doubt I will be able to stay that long.
The current place I'm living in now is so quiet, there's barely any noise, no one really comes to the house so I feel very safe here, I have another security guard as a housemate which is awesome, he does nights though so I'm gonna have to just get a phone I can use for calls only and just have it as an emergency because this estate isn't the best.
I really want to be able to go somewhere and not have to panic about where I'm going, the amount of noise that I'm gonna hear or the amount of people I'm gonna be around obviously at the concert, it can't be helped really. I just hope I'm stable enough to not have another freaking breakdown like I did last time because someone decided to pretend they had a suspicious package inside their bag which set me off so much, I kept having mini panic attacks during the concert, I jumped at every light, person, noise, it was the worst but I've got us seats at the emergency doors so it'll be all good hopefully. I think last time, I over thought everything and was on guard too much!!
Anyway, I'm still counting down the days until I see my psychiatrist and I'm hoping he's either going to change my medication or up it to make it a little stronger.
Catherine x
I also feel like I'm gonna be babysat so much by her which sometimes I don't mind but she has her own problems and also my brother in law will be there so I don't want to have to be a nuisance but they slam doors and everything there.. And I didn't handle it too well last time. I'm hoping I can stay all weekend but I doubt I will be able to stay that long.
The current place I'm living in now is so quiet, there's barely any noise, no one really comes to the house so I feel very safe here, I have another security guard as a housemate which is awesome, he does nights though so I'm gonna have to just get a phone I can use for calls only and just have it as an emergency because this estate isn't the best.
I really want to be able to go somewhere and not have to panic about where I'm going, the amount of noise that I'm gonna hear or the amount of people I'm gonna be around obviously at the concert, it can't be helped really. I just hope I'm stable enough to not have another freaking breakdown like I did last time because someone decided to pretend they had a suspicious package inside their bag which set me off so much, I kept having mini panic attacks during the concert, I jumped at every light, person, noise, it was the worst but I've got us seats at the emergency doors so it'll be all good hopefully. I think last time, I over thought everything and was on guard too much!!
Anyway, I'm still counting down the days until I see my psychiatrist and I'm hoping he's either going to change my medication or up it to make it a little stronger.
Catherine x
Thursday, 31 August 2017
Psychologist Appointment and General Update
I see my psychiatrist on the 12th September and I'm so nervous. The last time I saw him, I was about to tell him about a suicide plan that I had in place but he didn't have enough time and said that the next patient will be waiting (which they weren't). I don't know, I just feel I'm now beyond help.
My psychologist appointment didn't go to well. 11am Wednesday morning I had really upsetting news. You guys may not know I was admin for a mental health support group on Facebook called BPD Support Ark, the girl that created the group had taken an overdose the night before and passed away in her sleep.
I had been helping her so much, getting her help, into hospital and calling for welfare checks every so often, she kept being discharged from services, she had been asking for help for so long and unfortunately couldn't do it anymore which makes it harder for me. I've never known anyone that had committed suicide in the past and it really pulled on my heart strings. It was horrendous.
That day I had to attend my psychologist appointment with my Nan and I basically had a massive go at the psychologist for what he did as a job and told him why he should be looking out for people like Tori and I.
I literally had a breakdown in front of him and he proceeded to end the appointment so abruptly that I didn't even realise what time it was. I will be seeing him again in October which isn't too bad to be honest. I don't think I'll be asking my Nan to attend the therapy sessions because I just feel like there's no need for her to be there other than to have her points put across too which she did have the chance to in the assessment appointment. I will still let her attend my psychiatrist appointments with me and my doctors appointments too, but therapy to me is meant to be for 1:1 conversations. I haven't told her this yet, so I hope she understands.
I woke up at 5pm yesterday afternoon.. I'm currently on a double dose of medication and so it knocks me out clean until the following afternoon.
To end this here, I want to thank everyone for supporting and reading my posts. If you are reading this, please leave a comment and even share it. I hope to get to know my readers as much as possible. If I have helped you in any way, please let me know, I love to hear from you!!
Catherine x
My psychologist appointment didn't go to well. 11am Wednesday morning I had really upsetting news. You guys may not know I was admin for a mental health support group on Facebook called BPD Support Ark, the girl that created the group had taken an overdose the night before and passed away in her sleep.
I had been helping her so much, getting her help, into hospital and calling for welfare checks every so often, she kept being discharged from services, she had been asking for help for so long and unfortunately couldn't do it anymore which makes it harder for me. I've never known anyone that had committed suicide in the past and it really pulled on my heart strings. It was horrendous.
That day I had to attend my psychologist appointment with my Nan and I basically had a massive go at the psychologist for what he did as a job and told him why he should be looking out for people like Tori and I.
I literally had a breakdown in front of him and he proceeded to end the appointment so abruptly that I didn't even realise what time it was. I will be seeing him again in October which isn't too bad to be honest. I don't think I'll be asking my Nan to attend the therapy sessions because I just feel like there's no need for her to be there other than to have her points put across too which she did have the chance to in the assessment appointment. I will still let her attend my psychiatrist appointments with me and my doctors appointments too, but therapy to me is meant to be for 1:1 conversations. I haven't told her this yet, so I hope she understands.
I woke up at 5pm yesterday afternoon.. I'm currently on a double dose of medication and so it knocks me out clean until the following afternoon.
To end this here, I want to thank everyone for supporting and reading my posts. If you are reading this, please leave a comment and even share it. I hope to get to know my readers as much as possible. If I have helped you in any way, please let me know, I love to hear from you!!
Catherine x
Tuesday, 15 August 2017
Health Update
I know I haven't been on this much. I apologise for that.
I dropped my laptop and it basically cracked the screen, I invested in a tablet - the Amazon Fire Tablet 16GB - and so far so good.
To be honest, I've not been great but because I've been hiding it more and better than ever, I don't think anyone will believe me.
I've got my psychologist assessment initial appointment type thing on 23rd August and I honestly can't wait to just let go of everything that I've been hiding.
My Nan thinks she's coming with me, I doubt it. She really supports me with physical health and cleanliness and things like that but when it comes to my mental health, she just doesn't understand. Her partner isnt any better, he has cancer and tells me that all the time and says that I shouldn't be stressed as he has it worse of. There's always gonna be someone worse of than the next person so I don't get why it gets mentioned to me all the time.
We've got a lot going on within the family so I don't want to add to it, I just deal with myself and crack a smile and a laugh when I need to.
I can't do it anymore though, it's really getting me down and although I can't discuss it with anyone outside the family, I'm gonna be discussing it with my psychologist because its the main reason I'm stressed at the moment. My paranoia is so strong right now. I've now got 10 dwalfs in my room looking and watching my every move. They report back to their leader about what I've done and I'm trying to spite them right now by writing about them because no one else knows their plan except me.
I'm still working on my business because it's the only thing keeping me alive at the moment and it gives me a distraction.
It's now 1:18pm in the morning here in the UK I've been awake for 12 hours now.
Voices in my head telling me what to do, what they think of me. I now have 20 different voices in my head and I just don't know what to do anymore.
When I was sent the form to fill out for my psychologist, it asked me what would help me, and I literally put down "I don't know anymore, I don't know who to turn to anymore" and its the truth.
You guys know that I was in hospital for 24 hours each time and discharged the next day.. I'm never going back into hospital, I'd have to put up a fight because I know they are just gonna do the same as last time as I'm too high functioning for their criteria.
When I was discharged from Berrywood in Northampton UK, they just sent me on a bus ride on my own and I was so suicidal then, I honestly don't know how I got home safe. Luckily my Nan was about, she let me stay over to keep me safe and to make sure I was okay which was really thoughtful and really helped me although I hate pushing all my problems onto her.
With what I said about her earlier, she's great with things like letting me come over and looking after me, but in appointments she's just gonna sit in the corner and tut at everything I say and it's not helpful at all.
The last appointment I had with my psychiatrist and she came with me, she was actually so open with talking about my voices which I was very surprised at tbh and when I talk about them with her, she tells me to not talk so much rubbish, so I don't know, but I'm the type to forgive so I guess I'm just gonna go round in a circle.
If I tell her not to come, she'll probably say well you said yes the other day and I'll just tell her that that's the BPD and that my mind can change at anytime. I even told her to stay outside of an appointment because I didn't want her in there 5 seconds before they called me in, that's just the way I am and I know she hates it but I am learning to control that.
I'm hoping they can help me tbh, I've never seen a psychologist before so i' m hoping its gonna help me. I spoke to my best friend from school about it and she sees the same person, and tells me such good things about it and that its intensive which sounds positive.
I really want to beat these terrible illnesses because it's taken so much away from me, my license, the opportunity to better myself and I just can't do it anymore. I have to beat this and I hope to before I'm 30 but doubt it.
The job centre has been on my back too, I'm getting letters and messages from them almost daily even when they were the ones that signed me off work as "unfit" and I was banned for 12 months and I was told that I was gonna be assessed after 12 months. I still havent been assessed.. And its been a month now..
When they signed me off, I obviously didn't have to attend anyt appointments or anything but they did take all my notes off so they continued to ask me to attend this and that and threaten to sanction me if I didn't and I just didn't understand how they couldnt look on the system and see that I was signed off
Oh and they mistakenly sent me on a employment course which stressed the hell out of me, being told I had to attend appointments in Kettering, I literally had multiple panic attacks. I got a phone call from my employment course advisor to tell me that I had been put in the wrong group and I was on the bus so I couldn't just break down in tears. I just took the call as professionally as I could and cried myself to sleep at night!
I know that might come across as ungrateful but if you were sent a letter saying you were banned from working as well as being told you're also banned from driving for another 3 months in the same month, planned out your suicide down to a T and had it all ready, sent on an employment course which you had to starve yourself to be able to attend because your stupid alter egos decide to use your card to go and have a shopping spree, to then find out that I was mistakenly put on the list for this stupid course which I had to agree to.
Anyway, rant over, I need to get some sleep and I'll update on Wednesday 23rd August about my appointment.
Hugs to all.
Catherine x
I dropped my laptop and it basically cracked the screen, I invested in a tablet - the Amazon Fire Tablet 16GB - and so far so good.
To be honest, I've not been great but because I've been hiding it more and better than ever, I don't think anyone will believe me.
I've got my psychologist assessment initial appointment type thing on 23rd August and I honestly can't wait to just let go of everything that I've been hiding.
My Nan thinks she's coming with me, I doubt it. She really supports me with physical health and cleanliness and things like that but when it comes to my mental health, she just doesn't understand. Her partner isnt any better, he has cancer and tells me that all the time and says that I shouldn't be stressed as he has it worse of. There's always gonna be someone worse of than the next person so I don't get why it gets mentioned to me all the time.
We've got a lot going on within the family so I don't want to add to it, I just deal with myself and crack a smile and a laugh when I need to.
I can't do it anymore though, it's really getting me down and although I can't discuss it with anyone outside the family, I'm gonna be discussing it with my psychologist because its the main reason I'm stressed at the moment. My paranoia is so strong right now. I've now got 10 dwalfs in my room looking and watching my every move. They report back to their leader about what I've done and I'm trying to spite them right now by writing about them because no one else knows their plan except me.
I'm still working on my business because it's the only thing keeping me alive at the moment and it gives me a distraction.
It's now 1:18pm in the morning here in the UK I've been awake for 12 hours now.
Voices in my head telling me what to do, what they think of me. I now have 20 different voices in my head and I just don't know what to do anymore.
When I was sent the form to fill out for my psychologist, it asked me what would help me, and I literally put down "I don't know anymore, I don't know who to turn to anymore" and its the truth.
You guys know that I was in hospital for 24 hours each time and discharged the next day.. I'm never going back into hospital, I'd have to put up a fight because I know they are just gonna do the same as last time as I'm too high functioning for their criteria.
When I was discharged from Berrywood in Northampton UK, they just sent me on a bus ride on my own and I was so suicidal then, I honestly don't know how I got home safe. Luckily my Nan was about, she let me stay over to keep me safe and to make sure I was okay which was really thoughtful and really helped me although I hate pushing all my problems onto her.
With what I said about her earlier, she's great with things like letting me come over and looking after me, but in appointments she's just gonna sit in the corner and tut at everything I say and it's not helpful at all.
The last appointment I had with my psychiatrist and she came with me, she was actually so open with talking about my voices which I was very surprised at tbh and when I talk about them with her, she tells me to not talk so much rubbish, so I don't know, but I'm the type to forgive so I guess I'm just gonna go round in a circle.
If I tell her not to come, she'll probably say well you said yes the other day and I'll just tell her that that's the BPD and that my mind can change at anytime. I even told her to stay outside of an appointment because I didn't want her in there 5 seconds before they called me in, that's just the way I am and I know she hates it but I am learning to control that.
I'm hoping they can help me tbh, I've never seen a psychologist before so i' m hoping its gonna help me. I spoke to my best friend from school about it and she sees the same person, and tells me such good things about it and that its intensive which sounds positive.
I really want to beat these terrible illnesses because it's taken so much away from me, my license, the opportunity to better myself and I just can't do it anymore. I have to beat this and I hope to before I'm 30 but doubt it.
The job centre has been on my back too, I'm getting letters and messages from them almost daily even when they were the ones that signed me off work as "unfit" and I was banned for 12 months and I was told that I was gonna be assessed after 12 months. I still havent been assessed.. And its been a month now..
When they signed me off, I obviously didn't have to attend anyt appointments or anything but they did take all my notes off so they continued to ask me to attend this and that and threaten to sanction me if I didn't and I just didn't understand how they couldnt look on the system and see that I was signed off
Oh and they mistakenly sent me on a employment course which stressed the hell out of me, being told I had to attend appointments in Kettering, I literally had multiple panic attacks. I got a phone call from my employment course advisor to tell me that I had been put in the wrong group and I was on the bus so I couldn't just break down in tears. I just took the call as professionally as I could and cried myself to sleep at night!
I know that might come across as ungrateful but if you were sent a letter saying you were banned from working as well as being told you're also banned from driving for another 3 months in the same month, planned out your suicide down to a T and had it all ready, sent on an employment course which you had to starve yourself to be able to attend because your stupid alter egos decide to use your card to go and have a shopping spree, to then find out that I was mistakenly put on the list for this stupid course which I had to agree to.
Anyway, rant over, I need to get some sleep and I'll update on Wednesday 23rd August about my appointment.
Hugs to all.
Catherine x
Sunday, 2 July 2017
I didn't think it could get this bad, but it just did..
The past few weeks, I have had a lot of changes and by this I mean moving house.
I have a new letting agency, a new room on a new estate. Well I say new, I mean new to me.
I've only moved 4 times in my short life.
I'm starting an online college course.
I need to invest in a new laptop/tablet so i'm going to get a Amazon Fire 7 With Alexa which will help me continue with my business and i'm able to start on my online course too.
I dropped my laptop last night and there's a massive crack on my screen.
With regards to my mental health, it's gotten a lot worse.
Paranoia, hallucinations, even more voices in my head controlling my every move.
I've fallen out with 2 people so far because of my BPD.
The job centre are on my back to apply for jobs even though i'm still on limited capability for work and work related activity. I've explained to them that last year, I was sent for an assessment to see if I can continue to look for work and a month later I was told I was banned from working. And as soon as I read the letter, I ripped it up not thinking I might need it to keep it incase they wiped my notes from their system, and unfortunately they did. I need to phone up and ask for the letter to be sent out again because they don't believe i'm not allowed to look for work and then have the cheek to send me another letter to send me for another assessment. I know what they are going to do, ban me from working again and I don't think I can go through that again.
I have the doctors tomorrow afternoon, I normally go with my Nan but I had a massive go at her for not understanding my situation with regards to my voices and my alter-egos. I really want to give her a chance to understand because she's so supportive of me with anything else. I don't blame her, BPD is complicated enough for me to understand. I sent her the nastiest texts ever, which I didn't mean to, my BPD makes me react in unhealthy ways and I hope she understands that.
I know i'm hard to love with my BPD, but i'm still me.
I sent her another text to say that i'm sorry and that I love her. Hope she can see past my BPD and still come with me tomorrow.
I'm gonna write up a few things and take it with me so it's not all mumbled up and that I don't forget anything.
I have a new letting agency, a new room on a new estate. Well I say new, I mean new to me.
I've only moved 4 times in my short life.
I'm starting an online college course.
I need to invest in a new laptop/tablet so i'm going to get a Amazon Fire 7 With Alexa which will help me continue with my business and i'm able to start on my online course too.
I dropped my laptop last night and there's a massive crack on my screen.
With regards to my mental health, it's gotten a lot worse.
Paranoia, hallucinations, even more voices in my head controlling my every move.
I've fallen out with 2 people so far because of my BPD.
The job centre are on my back to apply for jobs even though i'm still on limited capability for work and work related activity. I've explained to them that last year, I was sent for an assessment to see if I can continue to look for work and a month later I was told I was banned from working. And as soon as I read the letter, I ripped it up not thinking I might need it to keep it incase they wiped my notes from their system, and unfortunately they did. I need to phone up and ask for the letter to be sent out again because they don't believe i'm not allowed to look for work and then have the cheek to send me another letter to send me for another assessment. I know what they are going to do, ban me from working again and I don't think I can go through that again.
I have the doctors tomorrow afternoon, I normally go with my Nan but I had a massive go at her for not understanding my situation with regards to my voices and my alter-egos. I really want to give her a chance to understand because she's so supportive of me with anything else. I don't blame her, BPD is complicated enough for me to understand. I sent her the nastiest texts ever, which I didn't mean to, my BPD makes me react in unhealthy ways and I hope she understands that.
I know i'm hard to love with my BPD, but i'm still me.
I sent her another text to say that i'm sorry and that I love her. Hope she can see past my BPD and still come with me tomorrow.
I'm gonna write up a few things and take it with me so it's not all mumbled up and that I don't forget anything.
11 Month Anniversary
I can't believe it's been 11 months since I said yes.
Yes to recovery
Yes to running my own business
After being told I wasn't allowed to work due to my mental health, a business opportunity changed my life, in fact it saved my life.
I'm able to choose my hours, my colleagues, my place of work, it's the best job ever!! I encourage anyone who doesn't enjoy being AT work to look into this too.
I suffer from anxiety, depression, OCD and EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) so i'm not the most stable person. I can break down into tears, anger, frustration, anything anytime and being at work for 8 hours isn't the best for me at the moment so having my own business means I CAN step away when I NEED to.
I've been sacked, made redundant and let go from so many jobs, and I do feel that my mental health got in the way and ruined it foe me.
If you're not happy with your current situation, change it.
If you want to feel valued in work, contact me - catherinejw@hotmail.com
If you need a break, contact me, I know, i've been where you are. It's not a great place to be. Work for YOU no one else.
Catherine x
Tuesday, 21 March 2017
Employment and mental health
In 2013, I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and extreme Depression at the age of 18, after suffering in silence for 9 years.
I was also diagnosed with Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder and Anorexia just last year.
In June 2016, I was told to go to a work assessment, to see if I can work. A few weeks went by and on August 1st 2016, I was given the worst news ever, a 12 month ban. My whole world came crashing down. I was absolutely devastated.
00:02am, August 2nd 2016, I was given a second chance, I was sent a video explaining a new way of working without breaking any conditions from my doctor. I was over the moon.
Thanks to this opportunity, it's literally saved my life and it has given me strength and a purpose again.
If you're in the same boat or maybe you struggle with mental health issues too, please get in touch, I'd love to pass on the joy I felt!!
Catherine x
🙈
Catherine x
I was also diagnosed with Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder and Anorexia just last year.
In June 2016, I was told to go to a work assessment, to see if I can work. A few weeks went by and on August 1st 2016, I was given the worst news ever, a 12 month ban. My whole world came crashing down. I was absolutely devastated.
00:02am, August 2nd 2016, I was given a second chance, I was sent a video explaining a new way of working without breaking any conditions from my doctor. I was over the moon.
Thanks to this opportunity, it's literally saved my life and it has given me strength and a purpose again.
If you're in the same boat or maybe you struggle with mental health issues too, please get in touch, I'd love to pass on the joy I felt!!
Catherine x
🙈
Catherine x
Saturday, 18 March 2017
I'm the person;
I'm the person who is talking someone out of suicide, whilst contemplating my own suicide.
I'm the one who is telling someone to have hope, when I lost hope years ago.
I'm the one who understands, when others don't.
I'm the one who helps people, when I can't even help myself.
Monday, 6 February 2017
The Mental Health Tag
1. What is your Mental Health Issue?
I suffer with EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Depression, Anxiety and Anorexia
2. Do you have medication and/or therapy?
I am currently taking Quetiapine 50mg. I've got an appointment with a psychologist on 24th April
3. What therapy/medication have you tried and has any worked for you?
I have had counselling which worked really well, but it's getting too expensive at the moment so I've had to leave that behind. The current medication I'm on makes me either makes me feel like a zombie the next day or makes me sleep throughout the day as when I wake up, I've got to take it, then take it 8 hours later.
4. How long have you had problems for?
I have had mental health issues since I was 9 years old but didn't speak up until 18 years old.
5. Does your family/friends know?
My family and friends do know. They are so supportive and because I'm open about it on my social media, most people know about my struggles.
6. Does this effect your work and daily living?
Yes, I lost many jobs due to my mental health. I had to leave my volunteering job and I was sacked from my bar job due to having panic attacks in the morning. I'd love to go back to doing bar work though, I absolutely loved it.
7. What makes you feel calm?
Colouring, listening to music, watching TV, talking to someone.
8. What do you do in a crisis?
I call Samaritans. They are always good at calming me down.
9. What advice would you give others stuffering?
Seek help before it's too late.
Talk to someone you trust.
10. What makes you smile?
My family, my friends, watching cat videos, working with my team - they are amazing
11. Describe your mental health issue in 5 words.
Draining, confusing, impulsive, annoying and unpredictable.
12. Insert a picture to make people smile.
I've gone back to using this blog, so every Monday there will be a new blog post at 9pm UK time.
Miss Catherine x
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